As the school year has picked up steam, a curious phenomenon has apparently occurred. From math to literature, science to physical education, it seems the Lost and Found is shaped by the subject matter of the student body. Is this an objective phenomenon, or is it merely a trick of the mind of this sole reporter? See for yourself.

Items 1 and 2: Math and Literature 

Among a wide pile of clothing and water bottles, a true connoisseur in the realm of statistical mathematics has neglected their prized AP Stats notes packet. Meanwhile, isolated in a sea of sweatshirts across the shelf, Unbroken holds its ground as a purvey

or of literary knowledge. One can only assume this book has its eye trained upon its statistical rival across the ledge. Warily guarding itself from the encroachments of mathematics into the realm of literature like a sailor watching an approaching predator. 

Item 3: Physical Education 

Here we have a trooper, having apparently undergone a life of immense physical strenuosity, witnessing the horrors of which most water bottles would refuse to speak. Having been through wear

and tear, braving the unrelentingly demanding actions of its owner, it now sits stoically on the shelf, plainly inquiring, “is this where it ends?” Indeed, does the tragic tale of this metallic cylinder’s life end in a simple misplacement? Only time will tell; in the meantime, full points for participation. 

Item #4: Science…? 

Forget petri dishes and terrariums, T-shirts are the hot new exhibitioners of nature. Nestled in the corner of the Lost and Found is a plain black shirt hosting an array of rocks upon a bed of… mud? Coffee? Substance unknown. Repulsed by the sight of this off-putting article, I struggle to provide a truly unbiased analysis as my respect skyrockets for my predecessor’s ventures into the repellant secrets of the shelf. Nevertheless, surrounded by the unnaturally geometric commons, this rugged quarry reminds us Seattleites of an important message: nature reclaims all.