This hoodie is a mixed bag. One can’t help but be baffled by the choice of the designers in what to abbreviate: the actual name of the university is reduced to a mere seven letters, but the lengthy city name is left alone, and then there’s the matter of including “CA” at the end when “Cal,” which it’s common knowledge is short for California, has already been included in the writing. One is additionally thrown off by the vaguely gelatinous texture of the background mountains, but the hoodie has its good points as well: the layering of the Dr. Seuss-style palm trees is pleasing to the eye, and the lack of a drawstring in the hood suggests longtime use: whoever lost this hoodie had previously had it throughout various phases of their life.  

A reusable Starbucks cup—high marks for sustainability, particularly considering that this is another much-used item given the faded logo. Just to the left of the logo it is written, in all-caps Sharpie, “MONICA,” along with some check marks indicating drink specifications. When given this item and left to wander, one’s mind jumps fairly easily to Santa Monica, a midsize city in southern California with easy beach access—much like the aforementioned San Luis Obispo. Is there a subconscious tendency among Lincoln students to lose track of items associated with SoCal beach towns? Life imitates art.  

This HydroFlask (side note: has the F of HydroFlask always been capitalized?) offers a change of pace from the other items on this list. Shiny and undented, it’s either quite new or very well maintained, with bright blue coloration presumably chosen to prevent its being lost—an admirable goal of which this water bottle’s owner unfortunately fell short. The handle of the lid stands ramrod straight, as though defying the label of “lost,” asserting that it is right where it means to be. A HydroFlask blinded by hubris. 

All photo credit to George Groebner